{"id":120773,"date":"2021-08-24T21:03:24","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T03:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/?p=120773"},"modified":"2022-09-14T09:47:00","modified_gmt":"2022-09-14T15:47:00","slug":"dealing-with-unsolicited-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/dealing-with-unsolicited-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Unsolicited Advice: 10 Fascinating Things To Consider"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dealing with unsolicited advice is something we all struggle with at one time or another.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I recently asked for your feedback on a survey about boundaries and saying no. One of the questions I asked was, \u201cWhat do you tolerate on a regular basis because you think you are supposed to?\u201d One answer that came up again and again was, \u201cdealing with unsolicited advice\u201d about a variety of topics; what I eat, how I parent, my work, what I\u2019m wearing, how I look, what I do with money and more! <\/span><\/p>\n

So here is my advice on unsolicited advice.<\/p>\n

\"Dealing<\/p>\n

Dealing With Unsolicited Advice: 10 fascinating things to consider before giving or receiving advice<\/h2>\n

1. You don’t have to be so helpful.<\/strong>
\nAnne Lamott says, “Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and goodness all over everybody.” Oh, ouch! Help is the sunny side of control?!<\/p>\n

I’ll admit, I often think of my advice as “being helpful” which is why seeing it through Anne Lamott’s eyes is so powerful. It makes me wonder, do I want to help or do I want to control the situation. What about you … helpful or controlling?<\/p>\n

2. Ask first<\/strong>
\nAsk yourself, “Does this person want my advice?” <\/span>If you aren’t sure, ask them. <\/span>\u201cIs it ok if I tell you what I think?\u201d or \u201cDo you want my advice?\u201d If they say no, believe them.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Tell first.
\n<\/strong>When you are talking to your people about something, be clear about what you\u2019d like in response. If you don\u2019t want advice, say, \u201cI\u2019d like to share this with you and I am not looking for advice.\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want advice or feedback but instead I just want to say this out loud. I want to vent.” And then just to be really clear ask, \u201cIs that ok with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

In some cases you may be actually looking for advice and you can ask for it.<\/p>\n

4. Stay in your business.
\n<\/strong>This goodness<\/a> from Byron Katie always reels me in, “There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God\u2019s.<\/em><\/p>\n