{"id":122887,"date":"2022-09-15T07:56:10","date_gmt":"2022-09-15T13:56:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/?p=122887"},"modified":"2022-09-15T08:04:14","modified_gmt":"2022-09-15T14:04:14","slug":"stop-procrastinating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/stop-procrastinating\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Procrastinating With This 4-Step Formula"},"content":{"rendered":"

Please enjoy this guest article from Procrastination Coach, Dr. Christine Li<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Why can’t we stop procrastinating?<\/p>\n

Procrastination is such a frustrating phenomenon, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

We know that our time would be better spent<\/a> if we could stop procrastinating and get down to business, but our minds and bodies don\u2019t seem to want to cooperate with what seems \u201clogical\u201d sometimes. And when we don\u2019t get our tasks and work done in a timely way, we can end up creating just what we\u2019re trying to avoid \u2014 anxiety, stress, and a whole lot of frustration<\/a> and difficulty for ourselves (and sometimes others).<\/p>\n

\"Stop<\/p>\n

So why is it so hard to stop procrastinating\u2026and why is it so difficult to overcome?<\/h2>\n

As a clinical psychologist who happens to have recovered from a long history of chronic and severe procrastination, I\u2019ve been fascinated by these questions. I\u2019ve come up with some explanations for why the cycle of procrastination \u2014 delay, avoidance, stress, embarrassment, working right up to the deadline and then back to delay again \u2014 is so vicious.<\/p>\n

Here are 3 explanations for why we struggle to stop procrastinating:<\/h2>\n

1. Our identities are tied up in how we work.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to understand that anything that might challenge our sense of our self-worth, might be something we might want to stay away from. Whenever we attach how we think or feel about ourselves or how others might think or feel about us to what we need to do\u2026we instantly create a stickier situation for ourselves. We create a reason to fear doing the work, because really \u2014 who would want to feel badly about themselves if they could avoid it?<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 <\/span>We associate working with difficulty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have you ever noticed yourself calling your work \u201chard\u201d or \u201cdifficult\u201d? It is so easy to do and so easy to forget that the words we say to ourselves have tremendous power over how we feel about what we need to do. When we tell ourselves \u201cit\u2019s going to be so hard,\u201d we find ourselves getting ready for a struggle rather than thinking about how interesting our next steps are going to be. It makes it even harder to stop procrastinating.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 <\/span>We think about the negative outcomes that might happen.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rather than enjoying thoughts of victory and celebration when we\u2019re about to start on a project, many people (myself included) often have an unclear picture of their goals. Instead of imagining the positive results that can happen, we do the opposite \u2014 and start to focus on how painful the process will be (see explanation #2) and the dangers that might lie ahead, like judgment and criticism from others. When we\u2019re not clear about our goals and we\u2019re unsure about our ability to achieve our goals, it becomes clearer why we sometimes choose to stay still instead of moving forward.<\/p>\n

If these explanations sound familiar, that\u2019s terrific. Hopefully, taking a deeper look at the reasons you feel you can\u2019t make progress forward can help you feel better<\/b> and more empowered to take control over your own outcomes and push procrastination out of your life!<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re ready to try some new strategies for disconnecting from the habit of procrastinating, I encourage you to use the \u201c4F System\u201d every time you feel yourself slipping back into the procrastination habit. As you read through each part of the 4F System, note what comes up for you, e.g. what thoughts tend to hold you back<\/a> and what actions might create more room for progress?<\/p>\n

The 4F System for Procrastination Recovery (The secret 4-step formula to use so you can stop procrastinating)<\/h2>\n

1.\u00a0 <\/span>FORGIVENESS<\/h3>\n

Procrastination<\/a> can cause us to be late for meetings, over-deadline with assignments or projects, and unavailable for important moments in our relationships. There can be feelings of loss and regret when procrastination is the go-to response when things need to get done. When we can’t stop procrastinating, w<\/span>e lose out not only on those meetings and experiences, we also lose out on the positive feelings that come when we show up for ourselves and do what we say we are going to do.<\/p>\n

And then shame comes into the picture causing us to feel badly about everything we didn\u2019t do and all the things that didn\u2019t happen as a result of our inaction.<\/p>\n

It is therefore essential that we learn the new habit of forgiving ourselves. <\/b><\/p>\n

No matter what has happened, forgive yourself now. Forgive yourself to show yourself kindness and to let yourself feel capable and worthy of new energy, experiences, and successes. When we forget to forgive ourselves and continue to be upset with ourselves, procrastination seems to be our only option. Procrastination<\/a> causes us to stay totally stuck, especially when we are feeling like we do not deserve the freedom to move forward.<\/p>\n

When you decide to forgive yourself, you will feel a new energy emerge from within. Your brain and body are always ready to support you, and you will see evidence of this as soon as you begin forgiving yourself for what happened in the past.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 <\/span>FEAR<\/h3>\n

Once you decide to forgive yourself and start anew, you will begin the next phase of self-reflection of facing your fear.<\/p>\n

Sound daunting? It is and it isn\u2019t. It is daunting because our fears make us believe that there is danger possible or near. It isn\u2019t daunting because, more often than not, our fears are simply our ideas (or fantasies) about what could go wrong.<\/p>\n

In order to move forward, we need to identify what we are afraid of and why, and then also decide that we will move forward even if the fear remains. When this becomes habit, we become very powerful at getting what we want to happen to happen.\u00a0 <\/span>Alternatively, when we decide to pay attention to our fears, procrastination wins and keeps us stuck \u2014 again.<\/p>\n

One tip to help you process and overcome your fears is to understand on the deepest level that action will calm and take the place of your fears. Taking action<\/a> is your best tool for living confidently and well.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 <\/span>FOCUS<\/h3>\n

Now that you\u2019ve taken a look at the factors that have been holding you back, you may feel your energy start to rise. You may also sense that you have a lot of things you want and need to do!<\/p>\n

This is good news. You\u2019re getting ready to take real, purposeful action again.<\/p>\n

The way to increase the chances of your success in this next phase is to find your focus. Decide what you want to train your attention on. Pick one thing that you\u2019re going to do first. It may be the most important item on your to-do list, but it doesn\u2019t have to be, since you may be getting used to taking action again. It just have to select one item\/action\/project\/task\/target to focus on.<\/p>\n

Why is it so important to find one thing<\/b> to focus on? When you find your focus, the chances that you will feel overwhelmed<\/a> decrease and your mind and body can start to help you move towards your chosen goal without distraction or stress.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 <\/span>FLOW<\/h3>\n

At this point in the 4F System, you will likely experience greater focus and productivity, and your sense of yourself and your strengths and talents will also improve. If you\u2019d like more of those good outcomes, let\u2019s talk about \u201cflow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flow is when your thoughts, actions, and feelings seem to be working together to help you move towards your chosen goal. You\u2019ve probably been in a state of flow before, if not many times before.<\/p>\n

When you develop an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses as a thinker, creator, feeler, and a doer, it becomes easier to master your own thoughts and habits. You become aware of when you start to resist or avoid your work quickly, and you also quickly address your resistance so you can go back to that great process of flow.<\/p>\n

When you are mindful of what you are faced with in the present moment \u2014 and you decide you are more than capable of handling anything in the present moment \u2014 you can access your talents and energy powerfully.<\/b><\/p>\n

While operating in a state of flow, you start to be productive not out of fear, but from a place of self-confidence and openness. You enjoy creating, getting inspired, and acting boldly.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve shut down and shut off the procrastination cycle<\/a>, and in its place, you\u2019ve found new experiences, opportunities, and possibilities! You\u2019ve built a positively reinforcing cycle of getting things done and reduced the need to turn to procrastination as a way to cope.<\/p>\n

The 4F System for Procrastination Recovery is a framework that anyone can use, at any time. Remember that when you remain committed and focused on your goals \u2014 and you believe firmly in your self-worth and abilities \u2014 you\u2019ve already won the game. Keep moving forward and you will soon see the full range of benefits and rewards that are yours to enjoy! To learn more about learning to work and live without relying on procrastination, listen to Dr. Li\u2019s podcast, <\/i><\/b>Make Time for Success<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and join her free challenge, Clarity Over Clutter<\/a>.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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