{"id":123776,"date":"2023-01-17T17:04:41","date_gmt":"2023-01-18T00:04:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/?p=123776"},"modified":"2023-07-14T17:44:23","modified_gmt":"2023-07-14T23:44:23","slug":"how-to-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/how-to-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Say No: 8 Tiny Notes To Help"},"content":{"rendered":"

I often think we are usually wondering less about how to say no and more about questions like; Am I allowed to say no? How can I possibly say no to this person I always say yes to? What will people think if I start saying no? What is the excuse I am going to offer for saying no? How can I stop feeling guilty when I want to say no?<\/p>\n

Maybe it’s a combination of all of those things. The idea of saying no<\/a>, especially without a well-crafted explanation or excuse brings up a bunch of feelings. You may experience everything from joy, excitement and freedom to dread, guilt<\/a> and remorse.<\/p>\n

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8 Tiny notes to help you say no (with more ease and less guilt)<\/h2>\n

One of the reasons we feel guilty about saying no<\/a> is that we are so used to doing anything we can NOT to disappoint others, even if that means disappointing ourselves. Confrontation isn’t fun for most of us either so instead of saying no, we say yes only to notice regret and resentment rise up. There are some examples of how to say no to people here<\/a>, but what we don’t need is a brilliant excuse. “No thank you” or “Thanks for thinking of me, I’m going to pass” both work very well. Per usual, less is best.<\/p>\n

1. Say no when there isn’t room for another yes.<\/h3>\n

\"\"When thinking about how to say no, instead of crafting an elaborate excuse about your unavailability, consider that you are simply out of room. Look at your calendar, your to-do list, your head space<\/a> … check in. Is this really the right time to take on something new?<\/p>\n

2. You have to say no to you too.<\/h3>\n

\"\"Before you worry about how to say no to anyone else, say no to yourself. Say no to adding one more thing to your to-do list. If it’s already too long, rewrite it in order of priority, tear it in half and throw the bottom half away. Sometimes, when our lists are too long we either get distracted with the idea that there is too much to do, or we feel like we aren’t good enough because we don’t get enough done. This measurement system is broken.<\/p>\n

3. Say no to shutting down your feelings.<\/h3>\n

\"\"I wrote this in my book, Soulful Simplicity<\/em><\/a> as a reminder to you (and to me) that we can’t shop, drink or busy our way out of feeling what we we feel. When you are overwhelmed<\/a>, tired, sick or feeling down, your body is NOT telling you to go shopping, add to cart, open the wine, work harder or do more. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you think about how to say no to your feelings, remember that we can’t escape ourselves and the sooner we realize that we don’t have to fix our feelings, the sooner we can notice that for the most part, they come and go. Some need our attention. Some don’t. And the ones that do need our attention don’t need us to numb them or shove them down, they simply ask us to take care, to slow down, to be gentle.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s so tempting to quiet the feelings with outside forces but instead, come back to yourself. Remember that you are a force that can comfort and heal.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Say no to giving your attention away.<\/h3>\n

\"\"Save your time, energy and attention by deciding to hardly respond to anything.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to respond to \u2026<\/p>\n