{"id":125538,"date":"2025-03-31T17:15:15","date_gmt":"2025-03-31T23:15:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/?p=125538"},"modified":"2025-03-31T17:15:17","modified_gmt":"2025-03-31T23:15:17","slug":"how-to-be-a-good-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bemorewithless.com\/how-to-be-a-good-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be a Good Friend (Even if You\u2019re Busy)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

These nine tips will help you discover how to be a good friend even as a busy adult. Close friends are a big part of feeling good and improving our mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Typically, I don\u2019t like to use the word \u201cbusy.\u201d The word conjures up images of me rushing from meeting to meeting. Also, being \u201cbusy\u201d makes me think about the times I tried to prove my worth by working way too many hours. Today, I try not<\/em> to over-schedule or overwork myself. Lately, my schedule has been fuller than I\u2019d like. I\u2019m reflecting on ways to do less, so that I can make more space for the activities and people I love. As such, I\u2019ve been thinking about how to be a good friend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love revisiting articles and books that inspire me; especially when I\u2019m reflecting on how to be a better friend. For example, one of my favorite writers, Anne Helen Petersen, wrote a piece titled \u2013 You’d Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don’t You?<\/a>. In the article Petersen discussed why adults don\u2019t live closer to their friends. Some of the reasons included not being socialized to prioritize friendship, friends who scattered across wide geographic areas, the housing market, job status, and more. Also, not<\/em> prioritizing friendships can lead to loneliness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of Petersen\u2019s readers wrote about moving closer to friends in the comments section. They said<\/a>, \u201c… It\u2019s hard to push back on the pressures of capitalism and definitions of success based on the nuclear family. I\u2019m going to die someday, and I want to look back on my life and feel that I spent as much time as possible with the people I love, prioritizing joy and my personal values as much as possible. All of the constructed pressures around home ownership, wealth accumulation, job status \u2014 none of it inspires genuine peace or gratitude like being in community with the people who fill your heart. At least not for me. And so now I preach the good word \u2014 a meaningful social life over everything, if you can make it happen. (I know not everyone can.)\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9 Ways To Be A Good Friend (Even When You Are Busy)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The comment above and Petersen\u2019s article, resonated with me. I\u2019m not able to move closer to many of my friends. However, the authors reminded me that it is possible to be a good friend even when I\u2019m busy (and far away). We all go through fuller times in life and being a good friend (and having a good friend) can lower stress. Even if you can’t be as available as you usually are, these suggestions can help you maintain and even deepen your friendships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Communication is key<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Let your friends know what\u2019s happening in your life (both good and bad). Tell them about your schedule, and let them know when you have time to hang out. Being honest about your time constraints is important, and it\u2019s just as important to tell your friends that you love them and want to stay connected. Communication + respectful boundaries is important to the depth and quality of friendships! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Focus on quality not quantity <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There are many ways to keep in touch with friends. Some ways to stay connected include sending text messages, voice memos, letters, sharing updates on social media, and my favorite \u2013 phone calls. For example, if you don\u2019t have an hour to chat with a friend on the phone, talk for 15 to 30 minutes. Focus on the quality \u2013 not quantity \u2013 of your interactions. Even a short phone call or a text message can strengthen your relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Schedule time for friends <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The best way for me to stay connected with friends is scheduling specific times to hang out (either on the phone or in-person). Also, I send text messages and voice memos to friends frequently. These commitments are just as important as my job or a doctor’s appointment. If you have downtime, schedule time to spend with your friends. For instance, I\u2019ll be taking a break from work soon. I\u2019m looking forward to talking with my friends on the phone, going on lunch dates, and taking bike rides in the park. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Support your friends when they need it most<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Recently, one of my friends broke up with their romantic partner. I tried to show my support for them, even though I couldn\u2019t physically be there. I sent encouraging text messages, listened to their stories on the phone, sent them uplifting postcards, and more. If your friend is having a hard time, offer support and let them know you care. Small gestures of love are powerful and are often all it takes to be a good friend. When you demonstrate the qualities of a good friend that you look for in a healthy friendship, your efforts are often reciprocated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Utilize technology to stay connected<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m a fan of digital minimalism<\/a> and utilizing technology. I\u2019ve learned to use technology with intention, and that has made my friendships stronger. It\u2019s also made me happier. For example, I love using my phone to stay in touch with friends. Phone calls, text messages, and video calls help me stay connected and updated on what\u2019s happening in my friends’ lives. You can offer comfort and receive encouragement from a great friend even when you aren’t face to space. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Be flexible with your own expectations<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I can\u2019t see my friends as much as I\u2019d like, so it\u2019s important for me to be flexible and loving when thinking about how to be a good friend. For example, friends have work commitments, kids, or the responsibility of caring for aging parents. Part of being a good friend means that I need to be empathetic, understanding, and flexible with their schedule. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Plan ahead for time with friends<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Planning activities and trips with friends in advance is fun! Plus, planning trips helps me be intentional about how I want to spend my time. I recently visited San Diego<\/a> and I was able to hang out with good friends and my co-workers. The trip wouldn\u2019t have happened without planning, and we had a blast!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Share your interests and hobbies<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You don’t have to have everything in common to experience healthy relationships. By sharing your your interests and hobbies though, you have more to chat about and it is a great way to spend quality time together. You can bake together, knit, hike or share books you love. Spending time with old friends and new ones can become a great mood boosting habit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Remember that you don’t have to fix everything.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

During tough times, you’ll want to offer your best friend advice and tips on how to make everything better. Instead start with empathy, grace and compassion. Give your friend the emotional support to share with you without being worried about being inundated with helpful strategies. Having this self-awareness is an often overlooked secret to true friendship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bonus tip: \u201cTime with other people really matters.\u201d <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In an interview with Elena Renken author and friendship expert Lydia Denworth said<\/a>, \u201cFriendship is so familiar that we think we know all about it, but we don’t fully appreciate it. We think it’s pleasurable and fun, but friends are often the first thing to go when you’re busy. Or you fall in love and ditch your friends. I was guilty myself of passing a friend on the street corner here in Brooklyn and saying, \u2018Let’s definitely get together,\u2019 and then not. We are so achievement driven in so much of what we do. I think it’s healthy to be reminded that time with other people really matters.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re in a busy season of life \u2013 like me \u2013 you can still make time for friends. Reach out to a friend you love today. Say hello and make a date to connect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resources about how to be a good friend<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you are looking for resources about how to be a good friend, explore the list below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Podcasts <\/h4>\n\n\n\n