I love a lazy weekend, especially one free of guilt and worry about things that aren’t getting done. I remember when my weekends were only for catching up and getting ahead. Even though I was exhausted from the work week, I felt guilty for resting and relaxing on the weekend. There was little delight to be found.
Instead it was errands, cleaning and being prepared for Monday. On the weekends when I did putter around, take naps, and get absolutely nothing done, I felt guilty. That’s because I often measured my self worth by the amount of check marks on my to-do list. Guilt stole my delight. Find delight in a lazy weekend and …
Let guilt know that you are going to
- go to bed early
- make a really big breakfast and leave the dishes until after lunch
- lounge around
- go for a hike
- take two naps in one day
- watch a Nancy Meyer’s movie
- read a whole book
- take a bath
- enjoy a few Weekend Favorites
How to let go of guilt and enjoy a lazy weekend
If you too feel guilty for resting, lazing around, or spending your weekend the way you want to spend your weekend, it’s time to write yourself a permission slip. But first, write a little love letter to your guilt. When guilt creeps in and tells you to do more, take a deep breath and tell guilt where to go.
For example … “Dear guilt … I appreciate your input but it’s time for you to get lost. Maybe you mean well but you never really change anything about how I live. You just make me feel bad. I’ll be taking this weekend without you for whatever I want to do. I’ll let my heart decide and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to catch up or keep doing more things. My heart wants a rest. My heart wants to smile. My heart wants to find delight.”
Resist guilt and read a book that encourages rest.
Whenever I’m shifting my behavior, I like to create an environment that supports the changes I want to make. Here are a few books that will send guilt running for the hills. Sabbath, Finding Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives. Soulful Simplicity, How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More (skip right to the chapter about lingering). Or, try Slow Love: How I Lost My Job, Put on My Pajamas, and Found Happiness by Dominique Browning (she had me at put on my pajamas). You’ll find delight in each of these books.
Take a long, slow, silent walk.
Sometimes, one of the most restful things you can do is walk away. Instead of counting steps or catching up on podcasts, try something more restorative. Walk in silence, noticing your breath and your surroundings. It’s so rare that we enjoy any stretch of quiet and solitude. Start small with ten minutes to see how it feels and discover the beauty of a silent walk.
Reject the seduction of getting things done.
The seduction of getting things done is when you just can’t resist doing one more thing, taking one more call, committing to one more project, saying yes one more time, so many times that you find yourself like I was, completely overwhelmed. The pressure we put on ourselves shows up on our to-do lists, calendar, reminders, notifications, and planners. It suggests all we care about is getting things done. Perhaps if we have clarity about why we do what we do, we can make a shift, lower stress levels and enjoy our daily work and life or at least enjoy it more than we do now. I have to wonder, what would happen if we began to prioritize joy over checking things off the list.
Let things be easy for a little while.
Instead of meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking, order a pizza or something else delivered to your front door. If you’d rather pick it up, do that. We are all out in the world attempting to meet some impossible standard of housekeeping, balancing life and work, cooking healthy (and beautiful) meals but we need a break from the striving. Make things easy for yourself where you can to make more space for rest and a lovely, lazy weekend.
Don’t be afraid to start small on your lazy weekend.
Speaking of impossible standards, why do we assume a little bit won’t be enough? We know from experience that a slow, small, thoughtful building is so much more sustainable than trying to do everything all at once. If you can’t spend a day, spend an hour. If you can’t spend an hour, spend a few minutes. Tiny steps matter!
Slow down for you and for the people you love.
If you are rushing around, trying to keep everything on track, chances are you are rushing everyone else around too. That’s a lot of work for you and a lot of pressure for them. Maybe there is some built in downtime on the weekends (or other times) when everyone can get off the train. Will the laundry build up? Maybe. Will you have to ask for a deadline extension on that project you are stressing over? Perhaps. Will lazing around with the people you love remind you that it might be time for a looser grip, for more laughter, for less doing and more being? Most definitely.
Ask this life-giving question.
We’ve been taught that rest is earned. You can earn it by overworking, overachieving, and overdoing it. Even though we can rest and understand that it would be beneficial, we still resist. We try to prove our worth by what we get done, which means we always feel like we have to do more. Within this broken measuring system, our efforts will never be enough. Let’s redefine this measuring system and do what writer and psychologist, @nicolajanehobbs suggests, “Instead of asking, ‘Have I worked hard enough to deserve rest?’ ask, ‘Have I rested enough to do my most loving, meaningful work?”
If you already have a jam-packed weekend planned, see if you can remove a few obligations, put some errands on the back burner, or just let go of what isn’t completely necessary. Give yourself for a guilt-free day or even a guilt-free hour to start. Give yourself permission to do what you want, even if that means doing nothing it all and gently tell guilt to get lost.
