When you think about what it means to live simply, decluttering is often part of the equation. But what if you’ve already decluttered, feel overwhelmed by clutter or don’t care that much about decluttering? There are still meaningful steps to take to live simply.
You may decide to live simply or more simply when faced with a health or financial crisis. Simplifying your life may be necessary if you are dealing with a change in career or relationship status. My wake-up call to reduce stress and simplify was a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis. I knew I needed to look at better ways to live my life.
10 Meaningful Ways to Live Simply (without decluttering)
Decluttering seems to get all the glory when it comes to living simply but that’s only a small part of the puzzle. There are many other things to consider when it comes to simplicity. Decluttering can be great place to start because when you clear up what’s around you, it gives you more attention to work on what’s inside of you. That doesn’t mean decluttering has to be the main event when it comes to living simply though. Working on daily habits or what’s going on inside for awhile may even give you clarity on what you really want and need in your life and make it easier to let go of other stuff.
1. Slow way down.
Why are we always in such a hurry? If we want to actually enjoy our lives, connect with our loves and be present for what matters, it’s time to end busyness. When I get caught up in hurry or I’m rushing around doing too much or trying to get it all done, I feel exhausted and rundown. Additionally, I make more mistakes when I rush. So for me, to live well with MS or really, just to live well, I remember that, consistency is more important than intensity and going slowly gets me further than rushing.
2. Recognize when you are simply dealing with too much.
The problem isn’t your organizing skills or how you manage your time. The problem is that you are dealing with too much. I’m not a very organized person. That’s why living with less works so well for me. There is less to keep track of, less to lose and less to think about. I rarely lose my keys or wonder where my glasses are. That said, I do occasionally look for my phone while I’m on my phone (tell me I’m not alone). This isn’t for lack of being organized. I tried to be organized, diligently sorting and filing things. I even had a label maker and lots of bins and boxes and cabinets from Ikea. It looked nice and it didn’t last. I always had to keep organizing my stuff and “getting my shit together” and eventually I got tired of it. More stuff for my stuff wasn’t solving my problems. I didn’t want to get organized, I wanted to live my life.
We all want to be more organized and I understand the benefit of having organizational systems and time management routines but I also see that most of these systems were just created to help us save everything and store more stuff and get more done so we can bask in the glow of our productivity. One of the reasons we are so easily overwhelmed is because we have so much to deal with. By turning your focus from organizing to living with less, you can create more margin so when bigger things happen they don’t completely upend your life. You need a buffer and some margin for the unexpected. Let’s face it, if organizing worked, you’d be organized by now.
3. Self-trust is more important than self-control.
Lisa Olivera says, “Where we think we need self-control is often where we actually need self-trust.” When I feel the need to control something or manage things better, I take a deep breath and check in with my heart. Then I listen. Then I trust. 99% of the time all of the things I want to manage or control are not mine to manage or control. I can’t control the weather or what other people think or do. I can only control myself and how I react to all the things I cannot control. Live simply by trusting that you know what’s best for you.
4. The next time things get hard, try resting through instead of pushing through.
We don’t have to effort through everything. Instead, we can ease through and rest through. We might not get through faster but we will get through healthier and happier. We are hard enough on ourselves and somehow become even tougher when going through something challenging like a job change, grief, a breakup or breakdown or not feeling well. Somewhere we started believing that pushing through was our only choice.
5. Don’t try to prove who you are by doing more.
When we try to prove our worth by what we do, it feels like we always have more to do. Within this broken measuring system, it’s never enough. Your worth, your heart, your you-ness, it’s not connected to how many checkmarks are on your to do list, how clean your house is or how many hoops you jumped through at work. Check in with the “doing more” part of your life. Is it working for you or against you? What would happen if you pulled back a little?
6. Stop giving your attention to everything.
Most things don’t require your time and attention. Even though it feels like we are pulled in a million different directions, we do not have to respond or devote any energy at all to most of the things that say, “choose me!” Instead, save your precious resources for something precious.
7. Decluttering is one part dealing with your stuff and three parts dealing with your heart.
Ok, I snuck this one but it’s less about decluttering and more about mindset. This is why letting go is hard. Because stuff isn’t just stuff in our hearts. Stuff is the moment someone said hello or goodbye. It’s a pair of shoes we never thought we could afford or decades of photos that remind us that we had a life. Stuff is dozens of report cards and yearbooks and it’s also 49 coffee cups (even though we always use our favorite one).
All of that is true about stuff in our hearts AND there is a possibility for fuller lives, less stress, moving with more ease, more clarity about what matters, more time to engage in what you discover matters to you, more presence and connection with the people you love, better sleep, space for creativity and room to take care of yourself. And even better news … there is a place in between ALL stuff and NO stuff that will allow you to not only shift your focus from defining who you are by what you own but also, to enjoy your favorite things. It’s your simplicity, your home, your life. You make the rules.
8. Care a little less about what other people think of you.
It may be impossible to not care at all about what others think, but even caring a little less will give you room to consider what you want for your life. Usually we think people are thinking about us and what we do far more often than they actually are. Turn down those thoughts and do what is best for you. We twist ourselves up trying to please others with our choices or to make them understand it’s ok to let some people misunderstand you. This is real self care! Alica Lockhard said, “Life became a lot simpler when I decided just to let some people misunderstand me.” Proving and explaining why we are the way we are, why we like what we like, choose what we choose and believe what we believe is overrated and stressful. It’s not your job to make sure everyone understands.
9. It’s time to be gentle.
If it feels like every day is just another push through until the end, keeping it together, proving yourself, taking care of everyone and thinking you’ll rest when … (insert fantasy date and time here), I see you. I’ve been there. I know it’s hard. And I know it can be better but only when you decide enough is enough.
I wrote a whole book about how to be gentle, with permission slips and tiny steps. We need to give ourselves permission to be gentle, slow and soft, to rest when we want, turn down the noise and find the ground beneath our feet. We need it not only when we are overwhelmed but always. Making time for this is the way back to listening to yourself, to trusting yourself, to getting your life back. Start small with moments and minutes and let the practice grow at a pace that works for you.
10. Be present and show up for your life.
The best way to live simply is to be present. While it takes some practice, when you are present you can focus on enjoying the moment. Otherwise, you will stress about the past and worry about the future. We spend so much time and energy and heartache trying to “get there” that we often forget we are here. We are here in this fleeting moment and we never really get to be anywhere else. For more notes and quotes, and simple inspiration, join me on Instagram.
